Overview

So.  Where is this little story at?

I buy 15 acres not too far from my current job.  Plant an orchard of fruit trees for the human.  Supplement the forest area with oak, fruit and nut trees for the pig area.  Plant the human garden.  Two summers readying the 2-acre pasture.  A season growing corn, soybeans, alfalfa and wheat and an over-winter of silage.  Purchase the heifer (and bull?) and train to pasture.  Purchase chickens (in egg?) and raise to pasture behind the cow rotation.  At 1-year, breed cow and begin dairy production.  Continue growing/harvesting/rotating crops to support livestock (and human) and turn dairy into cheese, butter, etc.  At some point I quit my day job, and probably die of exhaustion soon after!

Bzzzzzzz

And bees!  Honey and beeswax.  How could I forgo keeping bees?

Goats?  Pigs?  (Chevre? and Ham?)

A New Vocabulary

Cow - female
Bull - male
Jersey - smaller dairy cow with higher-fat, higher-protein milk than typical
Brahma - large chickens that lay brown eggs and tend to take care of offspring - also cold hearty and unlikely to get carried off by other birds of prey (about the size of my dear Roscoe!)
Forage - pasture where cows (etc) graze on not-just-grass
Silage - slightly fermented mixture of grains and hay that is more readily digested
Short Ton = 2,000 lbs
Bushel = about 60 lbs

Stuff to Buy

Bull trailer
harvesting equipment
helpful husband
tractor
scooter
pickup truck
chicken coop on wheels
moveable electric fence
Jersey cow
Jersey bull
Brahma rooster
Brahma chickens (10)
Sheepdog

pair of pigs
pair of goats

The Plot Thickens, Literally

OK.  Two cows: well, one cow and one bull, so that the farm is truly self-sufficient.  Two cows eat something like 72,000 lbs of food per year.  If we assume grazing will provide some portion of that amount for part of the year, let's say we need 7 months at 42,000 lbs.  Throw in extra for the wintering of chickens and the acreage needs to look something like:

4 acres corn
4 acres wheat
4 acres soybeans
4 acres alfalfa
0 acres straw (by-product of wheat)

1 acre forage

How could I forget Sally?

I forgot the $400 per month car payment.  Although Sally (a Honda Fit) won't be very practical for hauling around feed...

This world is not our home

God knows we are designed for work.  I look forward to the day when I can work without beaking and the earth will yield to my efforts.  Someday I will be able to put these plans perfectly to work, as I will be able to consult with The Creator about how to do it right.  Oh, how I long for that day!

Planting in order

Fisrt, plant the things that take the longest to reach maturity.  Three apple trees of three different varieties.  Two cherry trees and two peach trees.  Raspberry bushes, asparagus, rhubarb...

Distribute seed on the pasture to get the cow salad bar going.

Plant chicken and cow food for the winter seasons (corn, soybeans, wheat).  Alfalfa for cows and hay for bedding?

Even free-ranging chickens need supplemental food.  High protein feed, grains (corn, soybeans or wheat) and oyster-shell calcium.  Non-frozen water year round.

Next comes the people food; tomatoes and things that can be canned.  Zuchini, squashes, pumpkins, green peppers, peas, beans, onions, carrots, Jerusalem artichokes, sunflowers, (sesame?)

How to Float

Just for the sake of argument, I'm outlining a few assumptions.  The major one is that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong, so I always plan for the worst.

Assuming a $200,000 property with 5 acres and a decent house.  Taxes $3k per year.  The loan will be $175,000 at 4% for 40 years with mortgage payments of $1,040 per month.  Monthly utilities add another $1K per month. Add a small tractor for taking care of the land for $10k and $1k per month for food and gasoline, etc.

That means a minimum of $3K of income per month to stay afloat.

Is That Bobby In The Shower?

So the odds are so very against this thing happening, but I'm going to pursue the idea as far as I can take it.  On paper, anyway.  253 days.  I suspect I'll stay in my comfortable suburban condo until I die.  No garden, no yard, and I'm bound to get myself a cute little fluffy dog sooner or later.  (They have some really interesting rescues at the DCACC!)

So. How is this supposed to work?

1) I find a farm-ette with less than 10 acres within commuting distance from my current job with a mortgage at the same level as currently.  Must have a couple of tillage acres and pasture, with year-round water and some kind of house.  Small barn would be a bonus.  (Wooded section for pigs???)

2) For several years I work on the flora end of the farm.  Veggies and fruits while keeping my day job.

3) Move into small-scale grain production (for feed) with a small tractor.  Develop the pasture into a cow-feeding heaven growing grasses and whatnot for three-season foraging.  I'm still working at my day job.

4) I add chickens to the mix.  Just a few, at first, to get the hang of things, but adding until I have enough to sustain the flock and provide income from the truly free-range eggs and the occasional fried chicken dinner.  Can I give up the full-time day job yet?

5) I add a cow, then two or three.  They pasture around the farm, and the chickens follow.  I start by selling the extra cream, then butter and eventually cheese.  Small hand-made items to maybe a Chicago-suburb restaurant that's into the locavore movement (if it's still around in 10 years!)

6) I settle into a career that takes hard work and sweat, but I plan my own days and don't rely on my brain to try to stay ahead of office politics.  No farm animal will ever tell me to dress better and wear makeup!!!

Chickens 101

Well, since Martha Stewart raises chickens, I should too, no?

Aseel
Australorp
Brahma-dual purp 8+ lbs 3eggs/wk hardy confineable docile
Cochin
Delaware
Dominique
Dorking
Faverolles
Langshan
Naked Neck (Turken)
New Hampshire Red
Orpington
Plymouth Rock
Silkie Bantam
Sussex
Wyandotte

Predators, winter shelter, feed in addition to pasturing, length of laying life (5-7 years) starting at about 6 months, no rooster necessary for eggs - just for new chickens, guinea fowl can protect almost as well as a well-trained dog but noisy! coop off the ground to avoid certain predators, moving the coop helps too

Cows 101

Did you know that a decent cow gives 8 gallons of milk per day? I don't really drink milk, so that leaves a lot of other possiblities, yes? Cow costs up to $1k

Jerseys are smaller, up to 800 lbs, and have 5.2% of cream
1 lb butter takes 11 quarts milk
1 lb cheese per gallon of milk
1 lb milk makes 1 lb yogurt

Some cheese is aged and most is not. Aging takes a cellar (or turned-down fridge). Pasteurizing milk is cooking at a certain temperature (brewing thermometer) for long enough to kill stuff. Aging cheese also includes a variety of problems and wax.

Another New Plan

I guess I'm an eternal optimist.  I know, it surprises me too.  I was watching a show about raising dairy cows and I thought perhaps I could do that too.  Micro farming, just big enough to feed me and pay the taxes/utilities.  Paying the mortgage presents a whole extra layer of challenge.