And one more thing...

My son thinks that, if on a four-lane road, me passing into the right lane to pass someone turning left (no turn lane) is "Rude".     Huh?  Rude???

You're kidding right? Right?

"Hey, Mom- I know it's 5:42 on Wednesday night, but I have a permission slip here that has to be turned in Friday morning - NOTARIZED and I need it during the day tomorrow.  Why do you look so upset?!?  Jeesh, I'm not the one who required the notary thing!"

For my son

How could I forget Sally?

I forgot the $400 per month car payment.  Although Sally (a Honda Fit) won't be very practical for hauling around feed...

Boomtown Rats had it wrong

While I certainly don't like Mondays, I find Sunday nights to be much harder.

Joel Osteen has a new book, Friday Everyday.  What a guy!  So close to the truth, but still so far.

Did you ever find yourself brushing your teeth too hard because you were in a hurry to get back to life?

Don't take it personally-HA!

So I've been working on a pulled-pork roast for two days.  I thought it was pretty good.  I offered a half-sandwich to my son.  I actually thought he might like it.  I am now making a mental note to NEVER, EVER offer that kid another item again.  I was walking by his room a little later and asked what he thought.  First he couldn't get the movie to pause, so his first response was "Oh, my f**ing G*d!" and then he said, "It was mostly tasteless."  I can't get over how much of a jerk he can be towards me!

253 more days.

Then I can legally ask him to get out of my home.  Him and his swearing and lazy non-chore-doing bones and his violent games and dry-wall-breaking anger fits.  And in the meantime, I will NEVER take him into account when I make food and I will NEVER, EVER suggest he eat something I make.  He turns his nose up at everything, which is his own problem, but he always hurts my feelings when he just stubbornly won't say anything nice.

Folks at work seem to genuinely like my baking, and the folks at church too, so it really is a matter between him and me. What a jerk!!!  What a ... a ... TEENAGER!

E.M.H.E.

My mother thinks Extreme Makeover Home Edition is a fraud that causes more trouble in the lives of the people than it helps.  I don't care, I love that show.  I'm tearing up because of the fact that (sometimes) even normal people can find a way to help others.  A woman in NC helping homeless female veterans.  Talk about an inspiration!?!  (I can't wait to see if she is a Christian!)

This world is not our home

God knows we are designed for work.  I look forward to the day when I can work without beaking and the earth will yield to my efforts.  Someday I will be able to put these plans perfectly to work, as I will be able to consult with The Creator about how to do it right.  Oh, how I long for that day!

Planting in order

Fisrt, plant the things that take the longest to reach maturity.  Three apple trees of three different varieties.  Two cherry trees and two peach trees.  Raspberry bushes, asparagus, rhubarb...

Distribute seed on the pasture to get the cow salad bar going.

Plant chicken and cow food for the winter seasons (corn, soybeans, wheat).  Alfalfa for cows and hay for bedding?

Even free-ranging chickens need supplemental food.  High protein feed, grains (corn, soybeans or wheat) and oyster-shell calcium.  Non-frozen water year round.

Next comes the people food; tomatoes and things that can be canned.  Zuchini, squashes, pumpkins, green peppers, peas, beans, onions, carrots, Jerusalem artichokes, sunflowers, (sesame?)

How to Float

Just for the sake of argument, I'm outlining a few assumptions.  The major one is that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong, so I always plan for the worst.

Assuming a $200,000 property with 5 acres and a decent house.  Taxes $3k per year.  The loan will be $175,000 at 4% for 40 years with mortgage payments of $1,040 per month.  Monthly utilities add another $1K per month. Add a small tractor for taking care of the land for $10k and $1k per month for food and gasoline, etc.

That means a minimum of $3K of income per month to stay afloat.

Is That Bobby In The Shower?

So the odds are so very against this thing happening, but I'm going to pursue the idea as far as I can take it.  On paper, anyway.  253 days.  I suspect I'll stay in my comfortable suburban condo until I die.  No garden, no yard, and I'm bound to get myself a cute little fluffy dog sooner or later.  (They have some really interesting rescues at the DCACC!)

So. How is this supposed to work?

1) I find a farm-ette with less than 10 acres within commuting distance from my current job with a mortgage at the same level as currently.  Must have a couple of tillage acres and pasture, with year-round water and some kind of house.  Small barn would be a bonus.  (Wooded section for pigs???)

2) For several years I work on the flora end of the farm.  Veggies and fruits while keeping my day job.

3) Move into small-scale grain production (for feed) with a small tractor.  Develop the pasture into a cow-feeding heaven growing grasses and whatnot for three-season foraging.  I'm still working at my day job.

4) I add chickens to the mix.  Just a few, at first, to get the hang of things, but adding until I have enough to sustain the flock and provide income from the truly free-range eggs and the occasional fried chicken dinner.  Can I give up the full-time day job yet?

5) I add a cow, then two or three.  They pasture around the farm, and the chickens follow.  I start by selling the extra cream, then butter and eventually cheese.  Small hand-made items to maybe a Chicago-suburb restaurant that's into the locavore movement (if it's still around in 10 years!)

6) I settle into a career that takes hard work and sweat, but I plan my own days and don't rely on my brain to try to stay ahead of office politics.  No farm animal will ever tell me to dress better and wear makeup!!!

What Am I Thinking?

My son turns 18 in 254 more days.  I'll have the opportunity to change my life.  I've been more than a little concerned about what my job is doing to me.  I'm an accountant for a small company that is part of a much larger corporation.  I'd had hopes of moving up the ladder but it has been 4 years since they helped me get my MBA and almost 12 years at the same company, in almost the exact same position.  I really enjoy being an accountant and I LOVE the people I work with.  In fact, I'd be pretty happy to stay where I am if certain things would just change.  Things out of my control.

Except I've been having little tiny mental lapses.  Things that sound silly when I talk about them, but I really rely on my mental abilities to be who I am, and losing that is scaring me.  I'm 47 and aging is scaring me too.  Aches and pains...  Arthritis-like problems in my hands and weird things going on with my knees/ankle...

I actually believe that the mental lapses are stress-related.  I'm worried that they aren't, but I think that they are.  Having a plan to move into a new "career" seems like a prudent move.  I'm thinking crazy that a micro-farm is a good choice, but having a less mental and more physical career may make sense even though my body is aging.  If I plan right, perhaps I can mitigate the physicality?  The right equipment?  I'm not trying to start a big farm, just enough to support myself.

Chickens 101

Well, since Martha Stewart raises chickens, I should too, no?

Aseel
Australorp
Brahma-dual purp 8+ lbs 3eggs/wk hardy confineable docile
Cochin
Delaware
Dominique
Dorking
Faverolles
Langshan
Naked Neck (Turken)
New Hampshire Red
Orpington
Plymouth Rock
Silkie Bantam
Sussex
Wyandotte

Predators, winter shelter, feed in addition to pasturing, length of laying life (5-7 years) starting at about 6 months, no rooster necessary for eggs - just for new chickens, guinea fowl can protect almost as well as a well-trained dog but noisy! coop off the ground to avoid certain predators, moving the coop helps too

Cows 101

Did you know that a decent cow gives 8 gallons of milk per day? I don't really drink milk, so that leaves a lot of other possiblities, yes? Cow costs up to $1k

Jerseys are smaller, up to 800 lbs, and have 5.2% of cream
1 lb butter takes 11 quarts milk
1 lb cheese per gallon of milk
1 lb milk makes 1 lb yogurt

Some cheese is aged and most is not. Aging takes a cellar (or turned-down fridge). Pasteurizing milk is cooking at a certain temperature (brewing thermometer) for long enough to kill stuff. Aging cheese also includes a variety of problems and wax.

Another New Plan

I guess I'm an eternal optimist.  I know, it surprises me too.  I was watching a show about raising dairy cows and I thought perhaps I could do that too.  Micro farming, just big enough to feed me and pay the taxes/utilities.  Paying the mortgage presents a whole extra layer of challenge.

A new computer! Finally!

I mean, it was kinda cool blogging from my phone, but there's a limit, you know?  I already love this computer SO much more than that last one.  (Although I don't think I'm keeping the Dell "Stage")  And they moved my end button...    I better stop eating this sesame seed candy - very good, but I'm starting to feel a sugar rush and I don't need a sleepless night.

HELLO to my solitary follower.  I promise to write more now that I have a real computer with a real monitor and a real keyboard; you get the idea!