Have you ever been afraid?

I have not been very "in touch" with my emotions.  For how long?  Maybe ever?  Maybe I'm a sociopath.  Isn't that what they label someone who has no emotions-no, wait, that's someone who doesn't care about other people or their emotions.  And Asberger's is when a person can't read others' emotions.  Stoic?   Frozen? Confused?  Dispassionate?  Sublimated?  Well, whatever the name, that's me.  I seem fearless most of the time,  and then I realize that's mostly because I don't take very many risks.  Certainly not any big risks, the ones with possibly big rewards.  Which is kinda silly.  Fear is a pretty stupid way to live your life, my head tells me.  You certainly need to exercise due caution and make intelligent choices, but fear sneaks in and colors the scene until everything seems so unreasonably risky.  And so I choose inaction all too often.  Almost every time.  Until I get super fed up with myself and let loose on a dumb choice just to prove I can.  Makes me tired :-)

The Painted (Young) Man

My son got two more tattoos the night before last, bringing him up to three.  He wants to get full sleeves, or at least one sleeve.  He assures me he wants to get many, many more.

I can't tell you how sad this makes me.  I don't love all the tattoos people are getting these days.  Even highly paid fashion models have them.  Sports stars, movie stars.  Piercings, holes, gauges, scars, tattoos.

I think they are cries for help.  I think they are little signs that a person doesn't feel appreciated, and wants to feel special and somehow can only feel that way by permanently painting special-ness on themselves.  It makes me especially sad that my son just doesn't see how pathetic they make him look.  How very alike all the other tattooed people in the country.  It's like those kids who all wear black eye makeup and black nail polish and black clothes with a thousand safety pins in them, and work so very hard to look different, but just like all the other kids who wear the same "Different" uniform.

A hare-brained scheme explained

I've been recently looking into living "on the road".  Selling everything except my casual clothes, some kitchen gear and my craft tools.  Buying a pickup and a 30-ft fifth wheel and running away to ... wherever the wind takes me!  With some craft fairs thrown in for gas money.  I figure if I work very hard for the next 3-5 years, I'll have enough to pay cash for the rig, then it'll just be about food, campsites and gas money.  Instead of paying way too much for a condo that is now worth SO MUCH less than I paid for it.  I like the idea of living small, and i LOVE the idea of seeing the country.  Really seeing it, not just making little week-long trips to see pieces and parts of it.  All the National Parks, and lots of the state parks, and historical places... We traveled a lot when I was a kid, my dad got pretty good vacation time and we'd take off in a mom-and-dad-converted van for two week chunks of travel all over the country + Canada.  Except Texas.  (and Alaska!)

Even some of the affordable fifth wheel RV's are pretty amazing and have everything but a washer/dryer for clothes.  For one person, there'd be plenty of space and I could totally rig it to be a dandy crafting space.  I've seen some of the rigs on Pintrest (not SO much pink, please!!) and it can be done.

I'd like to do this before I'm too old to enjoy myself, or before I come down with something deadly.  There are services to help with roadside assistance, and mail delivery and etc.  I know it wouldn't be totally cheap, and it would be kinda lonely even for a loner like me, but social media will help.  And it wouldn't necessarily be forever.  A girl can dream, can't she?

Life on the road - list of links

another hare-brained scheme???  some links:

Cheap RV Living

A discussion thread

Comet Camper

RVers Online

my new home?

electricity explained

Mary Russell

I don't know why it has taken me so long to think of writing this entry, but better late than never.  I have been completely enthralled by listening to the Laurie R. King series of Mary Russell stories on audio.  Read by Jenny Sterlin, they are WONDERFUL.  The plots are intriguing, the characters are believable and the stories are so witty!  I hate to give too much away, because I hate to plant expectations in your minds, but I want to encourage you to read them, so here goes:

Unlike Elementary or Sherlock, this series has a very traditional version of Sherlock Holmes as the secondary character.  Set in the early part of the 20th century, the author has captured the best things about the Conan Doyle character and created a world where a smart, confident woman is still expected to down-play those traits.  Mary Russell is a smart, clever woman who captures the attention of Sherlock Holmes and eventually becomes his partner.  Unlike most murder mysteries today, the action is slower, there is not much violence and there aren't bad guys waiting around every corner.  Some of the investigations the two undertake are for crimes that happened many years previous, so there is no Jessica-Fletcher-like problem where every single character is either a potential victim or suspect.  So good!  They are so well written - LOVE THEM!!!

Most Indigenous

Yesterday on the radio, I heard the following introduction for a man who had moved with his family to a difficult place, in order to evangelize.  The announcer stated that he had moved to be near "the most indigenous people group in the world."   Hmmmm...